When you’re young, the desire to fit in can be a very, very dangerous thing. Sure, this applies to drugs, sex, alcohol, violence and all those things parents worry about – but it also relates to music.

I came across Da Real One’s version of “If U Like Pina Colada (Pina Colada Song)” during eighth grade. It was released as part of a rap compilation called And Then There Was Bass. Aside from the fact that I was simply trying to look cool at my new public school (sadly, yes, this was cool), I can’t say why I liked it, except to guess that it was (hopefully) much for the same reason as I like it now: sheer ridiculousness.

Da Real One: “If U Like Pina Colada (Pina Colada Song)” (download)

When I bought my Mac, I went through my CD collection trying to decide what songs to copy and came across this gem as part of an old rap mix I had made. About a week ago, a few friends and I were looking for ridiculous old rap songs, and lo and behold – I was reminded of this.

You think the original “Escape (Pina Colada Song)” is bad? (I actually kind of like it, but nevermind.) Wait until you hear a rap cover version of it, complete with awful late ’90s beat, reference to a threesome between Da Real One and two lesbians, reference to Hennessey, joints and cruising. He also asks if you like “juice in your kina,” a word that even UrbanDictionary doesn’t know.


The music video is even better, of course, featuring Da Real One lounging in Rorschach Hawaiian shirts, sipping Pina Coladas with women in bikinis while watching women dance in stereotypical rap video booty shaking fashion.