I know what you’re thinking… this is over-due. And you’re right!

This post’s overdueness is both cause and symptom. The hard fact of the matter is that life rushes in. Passion projects that don’t pay suffer. Sometimes you (read: me) find yourself kicked out of your apartment, broken up with and fired in a three month period. Sometimes you get re-hired, but at a job that takes up most of your time, and what time it doesn’t take up leaves you physically and mentally exhausted. Sometimes you have friend and family matters to attend to, and sometimes you just want to enjoy being young. For a long time, I had a really good routine, and I’ll admit it, I lost that routine. But in a way, I think I needed to.

The other hard fact of the matter is that my relationship with music and music writing is changing and evolving. Both as a matter of life circumstance/experience, as a matter of being in the music writing community, and paying attention to it even when I’m not really in it, I’ve seen how childish and immature the music writing community can be. It’s heartbreaking. I never wanted to be a music writer to get in fights with other music writers, to offend anyone’s sensibilities, or because I think my taste is the best taste of all time. Maybe, once upon a time, I did. But certainly not now. Music writing should be about music, plain and simple. But it’s turned into theatrical wrestling matches. Perhaps this is a product of a career that is, truly, dying as a career, and in a way, as an art. I denied that fact for a long time, but it’s undeniable at this point. As time passes, there are less and less jobs that actually pay, and more and more people fighting over them. So, I suppose it was only a matter of time until people started fighting dirty. It has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and left me in the position of wondering how much I really want to devote my work to that kind of community. This isn’t to say that all music writers are like this – certainly, there are some really fantastic writers out there, and I’ve had the luck of working with some of them. But sometimes the other side of the group is so overwhelming. I would also really, really love to be proven wrong about this.

I have so many interests, which has resulted into many ideas of what to do with this site. I’ve had a long-standing idea to turn this into not just a music writing site, but an overall culture writing site – books, films, art exhibitions, travel, etc. I’ve always wondered why no one has really started a website that reflects the way people actually ingest culture. Maybe I can be the one to do that.

But the last hard truth of this post is that I find myself unemployed for the third time in two years. Granted, two of those times have been my own doing. I’m not complaining. It’s just that paying the bills unfortunately takes priority over things that don’t.

This site is not dead, it’s just under-construction. For anyone who might still be paying attention, please keep watch over here now and then. There are things coming. There are ideas brewing.

If you want some idea of what I’ve been up to/where I’ve been hiding, you can tune in to East Village Radio tomorrow (Monday, Oct. 5th) morning, to hear me DJ the Domino Records Show from 10am – 12pm (EST).

You can also listen to the last couple shows I DJed by going to the archive and clicking the “listen” links for September 14th and August 3rd.

T-Sides is still not dead, I promise. I’m just regrouping. You know that scene in Singles, where Steve says he’s regrouping? Kinda like that.

The first time I heard A Love Supreme, I was on a train coming back from MacArthur Airport in Islip, Long Island. I was in my senior year of college and had just watched my long-distance boyfriend board a plane back to California.

It had been an interesting and emotional trip, as rushed visits between distant lovers can be. He had told me early on in the relationship that he loved me. It was the first time anyone other than a family member or friend had used that word to describe how they felt about me. It put me in a confusing state of mind. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, too, but regardless of what my emotions were telling me, I felt obligated to understand what, exactly, that word meant. What it meant to him. What it meant to me, in regards to those I felt I had loved in the past, but also in relation to him. I felt like I had to explore what I was acknowledging, what I was committing to, what was expected of me.

After an extended visit from him, I was exhausted. And the fact that the confusing Long Island Rail Road schedule caused him to miss his flight didn’t help. He booked another and I rode out to the airport with him. After we parted ways, I hopped back on a train to campus. I was exhausted and selected the “Jazz” genre on my iPod and drifted off to sleep.

Eventually, I was awakened by a fast and furious stream of notes from a saxophone. It was A Love Supreme. I had never really listened to it, but owned it because of my jazz history class. Music history courses usually came with listening tests, which I was habitually horrible at. I made sure I owned all of the music from the course so I could listen to it on repeat. A Love Supreme was one of the pieces.

John Coltrane: “A Love Supreme: Part 1: Acknowledgement” (download)

I watched the Long Island scenery flash by, perfect suburban houses with yards and swimming pools. I thought about my boyfriend, about graduating, about where I would be in a year. But mostly I just listened to Coltrane. Its complexity and hyperactive energy had a strangely calming effect. When the “a love supreme” chant kicked in, I felt like everything I wanted to know had been explained. Sure, Coltrane was making an ode to his supreme love for God, but damned if it didn’t feel prescient. A Love Supreme, it seemed, was telling me that this was just the way love was, the way life was. Chaotic. Complex. Constantly changing. And that despite the way that might sound at first, there was something lovely about it, too.

Since then, A Love Supreme has been the light in dark times. A reminder of the simple facts of life. I heard it last November. It was election week. I had just met someone new, and my brain was in bloom with all of the seeds of thought that get planted in those first whirlwind moments of adoration. And there was the election. Despite what I wanted to believe, I was still nervous that I would watch my country make me feel like a stranger for the third election in a row. I walked through the subway at Union Square, and a man with a saxophone was quoting from A Love Supreme, and I was reminded of that train trip from MacArthur airport. That night, I went home, made myself dinner, and listened to A Love Supreme while I ate. I felt a supreme calm.

It’s been months since then, and though the election turned the way I had hoped, there is plenty in my life that remains chaotic, that leaves me feeling uneasy, stressed, out of control. But I have A Love Supreme to remind me that, hey, that’s just how it goes. And that’s okay.

I “fell in love” so many times in high school that it’s hard to know who to classify as the first, but Damon was the first time I fell hard. Really hard.

We met in a summer program through a local occupational school that allowed you to take a culinary arts class in the summer and get credit for it. The program lasted for half of the summer, and you actually got to run a restaurant, which you’d cycle through each section of. Damon was two years older than me, and very mature and well dressed for a high school guy in Washington state. He worked at the Gap at the mall 15 minutes from my house.

We became fast friends, which quickly grew to stronger feelings on my end. Damon was the guy I’d talk to for hours on my private phone line late at night, hiding the receiver in my sweatshirt hood so I could quickly feign sleep if my mom came in to check on me. If it wasn’t the phone, we would talk for hours on AIM, and I’d frequently fall asleep on the couch in the computer room, waiting for him to sign on. (Author’s note: I don’t miss high school.)

Damon was a pretty talented piano player and singer, and I was constantly harassing him into performing for me. Somewhere in my childhood bedroom, I have a tape of him singing an on the spot version of U2’s “If God Will Send His Angels.”

During my formative years, I’d become obsessed with Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet, including the soundtrack, and Des’ree’s “Kissing You” was my sad-romantic anthem. So, for my birthday one year, Damon came over and played and sang to “Kissing You” on the piano for me. It was one of the happiest moments of my adolescent life.

Des’ree: “Kissing You” (download)

My feelings went unfulfilled, and we eventually lost touch, but we reconnected not too long ago. (Hello, Damon, if you ever read this, and apologies if you’re embarrassed, but don’t be!) I still always think of him when I hear that song, and I still always smile when I think of him.

Here at T-Sides, we’re celebrating the impending arrival of Valentine’s Day by acknowledging a very important relationship. Your relationship with yourself. Not to say that all those others aren’t important, too. But as that wise old sage Charles Bukowski says, “If you have the ability to love / love yourself first.” Ok, so Bukowski wasn’t very good with other people, but the man knew something about solitude for sure.

Truth be told, the reason we have self-love on the mind is because T-Sides has been around for three years. This is nothing in people years, but in blog years that means T-Sides is approaching status as some kind of establishment. Or at least it would be if we weren’t so anti-establishment.

As per usual, you can expected the unexpected in the next year of T-Sides. We’ll be embarking on some new kinds of pieces, as well as relying on some old stand-bys. We’ll be covering our old favorites, as well as some new ones. But as always, we remain critically and excitedly yours, and thank you for reading, whether you’ve stuck around since the early days or just come here through Hype Machine for the free mp3s.

Explosions In The Sky: “Day Three” (download)
Iron & Wine: “We All Us Three Ride (Will Oldham Cover)” (download)
Les Savy Fav: “One To Three” (download)
Modest Mouse: “Third Planet” (download)
Pinback: “3×0″ (download)
The Decemberists: “Crane Wife 3″ (download)
Three Dog Night: “Mama Told Me Not To Come” (download)

When you spend your time interviewing other people, the prospect of being the one answering the questions instead of asking them can be rather exciting. So, it’s with great excitement that I share with you this link to PerfSpot.com, who recently interviewed me for a feature on T-Sides. Unfortunately there’s no direct link to the story, so if you can’t find it on this page, try clicking through here.

The Posies: “20 Questions” (download)

If things seem a little quiet here at T-Sides lately, that’s because we’re moving! Not the website, it’ll still be right here, just our base of operations. We’re cookin’ up some great features for you, though, as always, so please stay tuned. In the meantime, here’s a little something in the spirit of relocating for you to enjoy. We dedicate it to a good friend. You know who you are.

Billy Joel: “Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)” (download)

Not to take an overly narcissistic turn here, but today is your blogmaster’s 24th birthday. As it just so happens, one of my favorite bands – I’m sure you can guess who – has a song that mentions being 24, which also happens to be the only song that immediately comes to mind that sings about being 24. So, in the spirit of turning 24, I share it with you. If anyone can think of any other songs that mention being 24, please do share.

Two Gallants: “The Prodigal Son” (download)

Well, I’ve been a disclaimer for twenty-four years
Poor mother drowned in a pillow of tears
I’m well known in story, famous in song
The black sheep, the blemish, the one who went wrong
The black sheep, the blemish, the one who went wrong

My crime is discomfort, my mind ill at ease
They’ll grow on my shoulder, my favorite disease
My siblings, my rivals might tend to my wake
Grieve me not brothers, I was mother’s mistake
Grieve me not brothers, I was mother’s mistake

And all the grand expectations of an epic of wealth
Leave me long to crawl back to the womb
Well, I’ve tasted your grace, placed it back on the shelf
Drag your pedigree wives to your tomb
Drag your pedigree wives to your tomb

Well, I came from this city, a victim of peace
But I’ve grown far too filthy to attend to the feast
So I take to the hills to live savage and free
I don’t need nobody, nobody needs me
I don’t need nobody, nobody needs me

Now that my review of Death Cab for Cutie’s concert at Brooklyn’s McCarren Park Pool is up on Bullz-Eye, I can give an account of the upsetting events that happened afterward. You’ll want to read the piece on Bullz-Eye first, so pop on over there and read it. Don’t worry, this will still be here when you come back – and you’d better come back.

Got it? Ok.

As perfectly captured in the picture above – and in my review – the concert was forced to end early due to an impending thunderstorm. This was, naturally, a disappointment because the band usually plays very long sets. But it certainly could’ve been worse: the thunderstorm could have arrived sooner.

More disappointing was how incredibly unprepared McCarren Park Pool was for this kind of weather. One would think that a venue like McCarren Park Pool, a successful outdoor venue that has already been around for a year, would have incurred this kind of weather in the past and know how to handle it. But as some friends and I discovered, they did not.

From the stage, someone who worked there announced that there were exits in the back of the venue in addition to the main, front entrance. They were obviously trying to clear us out as fast as they could, and that’s a positive. But as my friends and I dashed to one of the back entrances, some security guard who either didn’t hear the announcement or was high on some kind of power trip told us that we couldn’t exit that way – even though the man on stage had mentioned we could. Apparently, the exit led to their “backstage area” or some such thing and he suspected that three petite women in their 20s could do a lot of damage to four men in their 30s. After we exchanged a few words about wanting to get out, he snarkily told us that we’d still be outside once we exited the venue.

As we turned to walk back towards the main exit, one of the tents that they use to cover the merch, beer and food stands came flying at us, completely out of control. We attempted to dodge it, and were only somewhat successful – one of the metal poles knocked me in the foot and hit my friend in the back. We were lucky in some regard, though, as even more people were victims of the flying tent and were knocked on the ground afterwards. We were at least able to leave the scene of the crime (through that back door we couldn’t exit through before – too little, too late).

I give McCarren Park Pool some credit for having medical attention on-hand soon thereafter for the people who were seriously injured. Still, this kind of thing shouldn’t have room to happen in the first place. The venue could have told the vendors to take the tents down back when the lightening started, well before there was any wind. Conversely, if they were worried about them flying away in a full venue, they should have kept them anchored down until the venue was completely clear.

I may end up returning to McCarren Park Pool for free shows, but I certainly don’t plan on giving them any more money or going there under anything less than perfect weather. I attempted to look for someone to contact at the venue to talk about this experience but, suspiciously, their website doesn’t have any information…

And for that rude security guard’s information: we jumped in a cab almost immediately upon exiting. So much for your “you’ll still be outside” theory.

Death Cab for Cutie: “Here Comes the Rain Again (Eurythmics Cover, Live)” (download)
Death Cab for Cutie: “Your Bruise” (download)
Death Cab for Cutie: “For What Reason (Alternate)” (download)
Death Cab for Cutie: “Bad Reputation (Freedy Johnson Cover)” (download)

Amazingly enough, we’ve reached the two-year mark here at T-Sides. I say amazingly because as any avid blog reader/writer will tell you, blogs — and music blogs in particular — tend to have a short shelf life.

After many unsuccessful brainstorms and attempts, T-Sides will not, in any foreseeable future, be implementing any sort of regular features beyond those that already exist. It would help the blog attract more readers, it would help you know when to come back, but ultimately, it’s just not part of what T-Sides has been about.

Originally, it was hard to decide what direction to take T-Sides, and it’s obvious from those first couple entries. As my music writing career grows, T-Sides is best kept in its status quo. It’s good to have a place to put things that might have trouble finding a home elsewhere, and it’s part of what sets this blog apart. Plenty of blogs – good and bad – have news, interesting links, and those kinds of things. They aren’t my competition. More than anything, T-Sides is about the enjoyment and appreciation of music, in all of the various forms it may take, and distorting that into easily digested, uniform pieces is not conducive to that spirit in its purest concentration. At least not the way this muse works.

And so, we remain, irregularly, long-windedly, but charmingly yours. Thank you for your support and affection – it’s meant more over the past two years than you could possibly know.

Beau Brummels: “Two Days ‘Til Tomorrow” (download)
The Doors: “Love Me Two Times” (download)
Jay-Z: “22 Two’s” (download)
Sun Ra: “Two Tones” (download)
Two Gallants: “Two Days Short Tomorrow” (download)